Maybe its all a bad dream...

Well, my great grandmother died Monday. Im so upset. She was my favorite person in the whole wide world!!...She was the best ever!!...She was 96 and would've been 97 on Saturday...I loved her so much...I have so many memories with her...most of them make me laugh and cry at the same time..
One time (I was about 4 or 5) and I was standing on the couch looking out the window at the cows. I looked at her and I said, "Those are my cows." She said, "O really, and just where did you get them?" Without missing a beat, I replied "WalMart." I got them from WalMart because back then I thought everything came from WalMart. =) This was her favorite story. And she told it to everyone who visited. She also would tell it over and over again to me. Its also one of my favorite memories...
One of the other things I remember doing quite often is whenever I would see my parents drive up I would run and hide behind the LAZboy chair and Id tell Grandma, "Dont tell them where Im at!!"I wanted to stay with my grandma for forever....Of course it was the same chair Id hide behind everyday... but she never told them. =)
I loved her so much...I loved everything about her. Her eyes, her smile, her personality, and her little body. I loved it all..
I loved the movie night that we would have..(me, Jana, Trent, Aunt Kathy, and Grandma.) We would all go to grandma's house and spend the night. We would stay up and watch movies (usually disney channel!) and we'd all eat a bunch of popcorn.
I loved getting to spend the night with Grandma.
One thing I remember doing the most @ Gma's is baking cakes. Whenever I would go over to her house, we would bake a cake together. And the next one was always better than the last one!...Grandma fed everyone who ever entered the door @ her house. When me and my dad would go over to her house she would ask, "Aren't you guys hungry? Can't I feed you?" If you said yes, she would hop up and fix you something to eat. If you said no, she would ask you over and over until you said yes. Well one time my dad and I said yes were hungry so she feed us. Well after cleaning up the dishes we sat down to talk with her again. And she turned to my dad( who is a little plump) and said, "Honey, Are you watching your weight? Im worried about you." ....this makes me laugh everytime I hear it...Dad wanted to say, well Grandma its because you are always feedin me...but he didnt....he probably would've got slapped if he did say it...Grandma might've weighed 86lbs, but she could still woop him if she wanted...She was as stubborn as a Missiouri mule, and as tough as an old boot......She was the best.
Well today is her funeral...I really dont want this day to happen. I wish it was all a bad dream that I could wake up from...I wish I could go over to her house right now and she would open the door and look up @ me and smile that pretty smile..and say I love you so much....But thats not how its going to happen...The family lunch is @ 12 and then the funeral is @ 2...Me and my friend Brice are playing the first song @ the funeral...we decided to play HOMESICK by MERCYME....and hopefully I can get through it without crying...
it just feels like everything is coming apart....I mean what am I going to do without my little grandma...My aunt Lea said that she was talking to grandma one time after grandpa died. Grandma said that it never got easier after grandpa died, even tho everyone said it would....well how do I know its gonna get easier...
I know she's in a better place..and she's with Grandpa...I know Ill get to see her again one day...But I miss her so much...its unreal...and its only been 4 days.....
Well i better go get ready...

Oh and Grandma. I love you the mostest!!!!!
=) All my love!!
XOXOXO
~Aubrey